


Good Things Fall Apart

by BehindTheRobinsMask



Series: Knowing you, loving you [4]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Nightwing (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst, Attempt at Humor, Conversations, Dick Grayson is Robin, Difficult Decisions, M/M, Not Beta Read, Sibling Rivalry, Sparring
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-10
Updated: 2020-09-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:55:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26395267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BehindTheRobinsMask/pseuds/BehindTheRobinsMask
Summary: Tim and Dick finally have a conversation. Dick makes a decision.
Relationships: Dick Grayson/Jason Todd, Tim Drake & Dick Grayson
Series: Knowing you, loving you [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1908331
Comments: 16
Kudos: 139





	Good Things Fall Apart

**Author's Note:**

> Song: Be Together by Major Lazer ft. Wild Belle

Ressurection was a bitch and Dick knew that better than anyone. Under the Joker’s thumb, broken and bruised, drowning in his own blood he had died. He had died feeling the burn of flames across his skin. He had died so slowly, so painfully so when he came back to life, his eyes snapping open inside the pools of the Lazarus Pit, his last memories came rushing back and all Dick could do was scream, his cries muted by the water. No one had heard him before. No one could hear him now. Being alive was like dying all over again, a choice he would have never made if he was given one in the first place. But Talia had something to prove. She wanted Bruce to know that she could give him anything he could ever want, anything he could ever hope for. Too bad she tried offering him the wrong son.   
  


Maybe there was a time when Dick meant something to Bruce, a time when he was actually family, a son, a part of the pack. But then he grew up, but then, he turned out to be nothing more than an omega, born to be weak, born to be protected and how was someone so fragile supposed to help Bruce deliver justice? How could someone so fragile be part of his crusade, part of his dream? And just like that, Dick was no longer Robin, his name, his identity snatched from his hands. It was as if Robin didn’t belong to him. It was as if Robin didn’t mean everything to him. Bruce didn’t care about the sentiments behind the name, the mantle and its colours. All he knew was that Dick was an omega. All he knew was that Dick was more of a burden than an asset.   
  


Instead of protecting the streets with his alpha, Dick was trapped within the walls of the manor, staring out at the sky like a bird caged, like a bird flightless, his wings ripped out of his back and handed to someone else. And when he tried to take back what rightfully his, when he tried to fly again, he crashed to the ground and died. His punishment an example for those who dared to follow.   
  


He was Icarus who was desperate to fly. He was Icarus who had wanted too much. The sun, his dream, was so close but some things simply weren’t meant to be.   
  


One would hope that death would have taught Dick his lesson, that death would have put him in his place. But dying was just the beginning. Dying has become his awakening. And Dick learned that if he wanted something, he couldn’t wait for the world to take pity on him. He couldn’t wait for someone else’s permission to have what belonged to him. Whether it was happiness, a lover, all the riches in the world or something as simple as vengeance, he just had to reach out and take it. No matter what the cost. And Dick would never apologize for the things he had done.   
  


And he would definitely not apologize for breaking into the Titans HQ just to beat Timothy Drake’s ass. If anything, he had done the teen heroes a favour by letting them know that their security was absolute garbage. It took him a few minutes to get inside and for someone who claimed to be Batman’s sidekick, that was just sad. Maybe the reason why Dick attacked was that he was just a tad ticked off. Robin was his identity, his everything, a name given to him by his parents. What right did Tim have to wear his colours? What right did Bruce have to give them away?   
  


Jason was Robin because Dick chose him. Damian was Robin because Dick chose him. But he never chose Tim.   
  


Now, here he was, the pretender, standing in his loft and examining a book lying on the table.   
  


“You read?” Tim asked as he pretended to read the synopsis.   
  


“I do many things, Timmy. But you’re not here to talk about that.” Dick answered as he flopped down on his couch. It was a ratty old thing but it was still comfortable. “You’re here because you want me to give up the cowl. But we both know that I won’t so what are you going to do? Still try and talk? Or will you take out that retractable bo staff you have concealed… I wanna say right leg… Is that?”  
  


“I’m not here to fight you,” Tim said, setting down the book.   
  


“You sure? Because I’d love to see how much you’ve improved since our last encounter.” Dick smiled, hoping that Tim would take the challenge. It would be so much better than talking and,  _ god forbid _ , getting to know one another.   
  


Unfortunately, all Tim did was shake his head. He then pulled out a chair and sat down, hands clasped together as his eyes analyzed Dick. Such a Bruce Wayne thing to do.   
  


“After Jason left, I saw the footage of your fights that Oracle had managed to get her hands on,” Tim started, his voice so emotionless that it ticked Dick off a bit. “You’re good. There’s no doubt about that. Almost as good as Bruce.”  
  


“Some would say that I’m better than him,” Dick interjected, never ashamed to blow his own horn.   
  


“Some would,” Tim agreed and his words were enough to throw the omega off. “But the one thing that holds you back is your emotions. We both know that they drive you, that one of these days you’re going to snap and kill someone. You’ve done it before with the whole eight heads in a duffle bag thing. Who’s to say you won’t do it again? And then, you’ll ruin everything that Batman stands for.”

  
“Have me all figured out, eh?” Dick asked, finally seeing where this conversation was going. And as much as he wanted Tim out of his safe house, he was going to make the most of the moments he was here. “Scared that when the Joker breaks out of Arkham - which he will, we both know that - I’ll hunt him down and kill him?”  
  


Instead of answering, Tim just stared at Dick, a hint of panic in his eyes but he managed to hide it well.   
  


“I mean, killing the clown does have its perks. For one, even if he haunts my fucking dreams every single night, at least when I’m awake I’ll know he isn’t alive. That would be such a bonus because I really would like to sleep peacefully one of these days,” Dick said, holding up his hand to examine his nails. “But the idea, it doesn’t bring me as much joy anymore. Not after I watched Jason kill him once.”  
  


Once he was done talking, Dick glanced at Tim, so softly, so innocently. The alpha should have known about this. After all, he was Batman’s Robin, he was Nightwings’ Robin. They should have told him. Such a shame that they didn’t. Such a shame that little Timmy couldn’t hide his surprise as his eyes grew wide.   
  


“You didn’t know?” Dick asked as Tim gaped at him with an open mouth. “The Joker, he was taunting Jason by using me, laughing about how he killed me, how he had me beg him for mercy, which is absolute bullshit by the way. And Jay, he’s so sweet, always so protective, always willing to do anything for the people he loves. He got so angry.”  
  


“But the Joker… he… he’s alive,” Tim stammered.  
  


“He is and that’s because I saved his life. Gave him CPR so he wouldn’t fucking die,” Dick answered, a part of him still angry because Joker should have died.   
  


“You wouldn’t,” Tim spat, unable to believe Dick’s words.   
  


“You don’t know what I can and cannot do,” Dick hissed, leaning forward. “And for Jason, I would do anything.”  
  


Silence fell between the two of them as Tim tried to process that information that had just been dumped on him, his poker face falling to a million little pieces as every single emotion flickered through his face, leaving him an open book. Dick didn’t really have to tell Tim anything. Hell, he didn’t even have to talk to him but he knew it was better to have the alpha on his side than against him. Making an enemy out of the third Robin was making an enemy out of his team, members of which were linked to the League. Dick couldn’t afford that so he was willing to build a bridge, a ratty old one that he would barely use but a bridge nonetheless. 

  
As the book slowly closed and Tim took control of his own thoughts, his eyes turned calculating once again, trying to piece information together.   
  


“And then you stopped using lethal rounds,” he finally spoke. “You did it for Jay.”  
  


Pressing his lips into a thin line, Dick nodded, “But he doesn’t know and you’re going to keep it that way.”  
  


The kid was smart, smarter than most people he had met, and that just annoyed Dick even more. He didn’t need Tim Drake reading into his actions, trying to look for justifiable reasons instead of the ones he presented.   
  


“I don’t understand why you won’t tell him.” Tim shook his head. “You both love each other. You both want to be with each other. What the hell is keeping you apart?”  
  


As the alpha stared at him with confusion, Dick couldn’t help but smile.   
  


“We just want different things from life,” he answered but Tim just shook his head.  
  


“I don’t understand. At all.”  
  


No one really did. They could blame their separation on a million things. Wrong timing. Bad situations. Misunderstandings. There were just so many reasons, so many scapegoats. But telling a lie was easier than accepting the truth. Telling a lie was easier than holding Jason’s hand and accepting him for everything that he was. A good man. A good son. The kind of partner that Dick had always dreamt of. But because he was such a good thing, Dick knew he couldn’t touch him. Dick knew that he couldn’t taint him. Even if love was all that Jason asked for.   
  


_ You can give me a small bit of your heart.  
  
_

It was such a sweet thing to say, a sweet thing to offer. And Dick was a greedy man, there was no doubt about it. But he always had a soft spot for Jason. He always wanted to be good to him, always wanted him happy. And what kind of happiness was knowing that you would always be second place in your lover’s heart? What kind of happiness was knowing that you could never have the family that you wanted?   
  


_ Does that mean we can’t find common ground?  
  
_

Where was the common ground here? Where was the compromise? How could the two of them be together and somehow be equals? How could Dick love Jason without turning him into everything he never wanted to be? How Dick love Jason and stand aside as he wasted away, holding onto a relationship that could never have a future? Everyone deserved a dream so what about Jason? What about his dreams?  
  


_ My dream was… you.  
  
_

“Why’d he have to say that?” he muttered, his voice so low that it was barely a whisper.   
  


“Uh… Hey, you okay?” Tim asked, reminding Dick that he hadn’t gone anywhere, that he was still taking up space in his safe house.   
  


Raising his brows, Dick looked at the young alpha from head to toe, taking in his shabby clothes, his hair that resembled a bird’s nest and the dark circles under his eyes. Damian had told him that Tim had left Gotham to search for Bruce. Clearly that hadn’t worked out too well for him.   
  


“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” he turned the question around. “You stink. Do you know what a shower is?”  
  


With his cheeks turning red with embarrassment, Tim looked away, “I’ve been busy.”  
  


“Yeah. Busy wasting time,” Dick said, getting up.   
  


“I’m looking for Bruce! I’m not wasting time!” Tim snapped and his anger just made Dick roll his eyes.  
  


“If Bruce is alive, he’ll come back home on his own. If Bruce is alive, he hasn’t in Gotham because he can’t be in Gotham,” Dick said, pushing around the furniture a bit. “You could keep looking for him but you won’t find him.”  
  


“How can you be so sure? How do you know he doesn’t need help?”   
  


Dick sighed as he looked at Tim, “Even if he did, do you think he’d want our help?”  
  


“Now,” he said with a smile, once he’d made some space. “If you have so much free time on your hands, why don’t you show me what you’re made of.”  
  


“I’m not going to fight you,” Tim said, crossing his arms.   
  


Dick grinned, “Scared?” he taunted.  
  


The young alpha stared at him for a while, anger bubbling in his eyes, ready to overflow.  
  


“Fuck it,” he snapped as he got to his feet.  
  


And this was what Dick wanted from the very start. 

*******

When Jason saw Dick Grayson for the first time, it was back when he was still with the circus, back when his parents were still alive. Willis was an absent parent and even when he was around, he had never really done anything to be called a father, let alone a good one. But there were times when he tried, hoping that Jason would see him more than the piece of shit he was, hoping that maybe if he did one thing right heaven wouldn’t be so far out of reach. And during one of those desperate moments, he took Jason to the circus, though whether he bought the tickets or stole it from people who didn’t know better, Jason would never know. Not that it mattered. How could it when he was fascinated from the moment he looked at Dick, rushing out from one of the tents and disappearing into the crowd. Jason wanted to run after him. He wanted to know who he was. And then, he watched Dick fly, a sight that had been burned into his memory.   
  


After that, he never thought he’d see Dick again. After that, he never thought that their paths would collide but they did. Maybe it all just a coincidence or maybe there was something bigger at play. Destiny. Fate. Whatever it was. All Jason knew was that Dick was in his life again, he was alive and close enough to hold so why shouldn’t he do everything he could to keep his mate by his side?  
  


Well, those were the sentimental thoughts he felt as he drove back to the manor after his talk with the omega. Right now, however, as he stared at Tim lying on one of the cots in the cave, his left arm in a sling, the only thing Jason felt was exasperation.  
  


“You broke his arm,” he said, looking at Dick who was fiddling with the computer.   
  


“Incorrect. I dislocated it,” Dick clarified, completely unbothered. “Now, at least, he’ll learn to rest.”  
  


Jason blinked, “Excuse me, are you telling me you broke his shoulder to help him?”  
  


“Dislocated!” Dick corrected again. “The kid looks like shit. Don’t tell me he doesn’t look like shit. This way he’ll be off the streets and in bed instead, sleeping like a good brat and maybe taking a shower or two. He really needs one.”  
  


“For fuck’s sake, Dick,” Jason muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose.   
  


“We were sparring, Jay. Accidents happen while sparring. Anyway, Tim doesn’t hate me,” Dick tried to reason. He then glanced at Tim. “Do ya hate me, Timberly?”  
  


“Fuck you, Grayson!” Tim called back, giving Dick the bird.  
  


“See, he’s fine!”  
  


Slumping onto a chair, Jason just stared at the ceiling of the cave, too exhausted to deal with the situation, his brother or mate who seemed determined to get on his last nerve. When he came back home, all he wanted was to eat his dinner, read a good book and go to sleep. What was he supposed to do when Dick charged in with Tim thrown over his shoulder, moaning in pain. He didn’t even know the two of them had met. The trouble these people got into behind his back was unbelievable. Of course, Damian certainly didn’t help matters when he high-fived Dick for kicking Tim’s ass.   
  


Children. Jason was living in a house full of children.   
  


“Oh, Jay. Don’t be angry. This is just the way Tim and I will bond with one another,” Dick said, patting Jason’s shoulder. “While you played the role of his brother with love and care, I’ll play the role of the person he envies by always showing him that I’m better than him. He’ll aspire to be stronger than me and one day, he’ll come close. Sort of.”  
  


“I can hear you!” Tim exclaimed.  
  


“I know you love me, Tim. Geez, back off a bit will ya?”  
  


“I don’t love you! You tried to kill me!”  
  


“So did half the villains in Gotham. Suck it up!”  
  


“Jesus Christ,” Jason muttered as he massaged his head. He was going to get a headache, there was no doubt about that.   
  


Eventually (thankfully) Tim’s pain meds soon made him fall asleep and he finally stopped bickering with Dick who was enjoying this situation more than he should have. And while Jason would never admit it, he loved seeing Dick so happy, genuinely smiling and joking around with Tim as though they were family. This turn of events shouldn’t have made him hopeful but it did. It really did.   
  


“So, this is what it’s going to be like if I stick around, huh?” Dick said, his voice low as his eyes wandered about the cave. “It’s not as bad as I thought it would be.”  
  


Gripping the arms of his chair, Jason took in a deep breath, hoping that his heart would calm down because this was just a simple statement. It wasn’t a confirmation. Dick could leave and never come back. Or he could stay. Jason really hoped he would stay.   
  


“Do you want me to stay, Jase?” Dick asked, finally looking at his mate and Jason felt his breath catch in his throat.  
  


“You know I do,” he answered almost immediately, no more second-guessing. “I want you to stay more than anything in the world.”  
  


Hearing his words, Dick smiled softly but there was something so sad in his eyes, something that Jason wished hadn’t been there. He knew very well that Dick could easily reject his offer. He knew very well that everything between them could come to an end, a final end and then, they could never go back. Yes, there was no guarantee that things would work out between them even if Dick chose to stay. Even if they rebuilt the bridges they had brought down, they would rebuild over kerosene, one tiny spark enough to ruin everything. It was a dangerous gamble, one that could leave them both broken. But Jason wanted to try.  
  


“I don’t… I don’t know how to be with you, Jason. I don’t know how to love you,” Dick said as the smile faded from his lips. “You’re everything I want and that thought terrifies me because you could break me so easily. I want to stay. I really do but I can’t stay for love. Not yet at least. I miss home. I miss my family. And I do miss you but --”  
  


“You’re too scared to be with me,” Jason finished for him and Dick nodded. That wasn’t the outcome he was hoping for. Not the answer that he wanted to hear. But Jason knew that healing took time. Some things, no matter how badly you wanted them, could not be rushed. “You should come home anyway.”  
  


“Really?” Dick asked, a bit unsure.  
  


“I’m sure.” Jason smiled. “I understand where you’re coming from and I’m willing to give you all the time you need. In the end, even if you choose that you can’t be with me, that’s alright. I won’t be the one to chase you out of your own home.”  
  


Hearing Jason’s words, Dick chuckled a bit, that bit of sadness returning to his eyes, “You’re too nice to me, Jay.”   
  


“But you love me for that, don’t you?” Jason asked, his voice teasing.  
  


“I do. I really do.”  
  


If Jason could, he would kiss Dick right here, right now. If Jason could, he would hold him tight and never let go. But after everything Dick had been through, all his pain, all his experiences, they had made him someone so used to loneliness, someone so used to living as though he didn’t have a tomorrow. While change came unexpectedly, it was never an easy thing to accept. But Dick was willing to try and for now, that would be enough.  
  


Reaching out, Jason held Dick’s hand in his own, intertwining their fingers.    
  


For now, this would be enough.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know what happened with Tim and Dick's dynamic. I am a fool thus I provide you with foolish thing. That is all I can say.


End file.
